Categories: ObedienceServices

Truth and Spirit worship

In 2011, I joined university. My life was quiet confusing. I wanted to serve God, but God’s terms of service seemed like a blackmail to me. It’s not that they were very complex, but that they were too easy, “follow me”. I’d lived a piece of my life trying to be the man I’ve wanted to be; for the first time living with full control over my life, doing whatever I want, so long as my courseworks and tests are done. I for once could have friends whom my teachers wouldn’t care if they’re good or bad. For once, I could be in places where my parents had restricted me from entering. What else did I want? But the urge to serve God didn’t disappear from my heart.

The first one month, I never set my foot in any place of worship, though sometimes I could find myself tuning to religious stations. I’ve no idea what I was looking for in those stations, because a lot of times, their messages would make it appear like I was losing my way. Their messages could make me break into tears, but I didn’t care much, after the tears, I ate, and forgot.

After four weeks of not attending any fellowship, my roommate, who also had never attended any worship, convinced me that we should try some local churches. The first time since joining university, I went to church. It was so boring, but so loving. Not that boring was cool, but that the people there loved me, they smiled at me all the time, they were so warm, but I was bored with the whole session. I missed my friends. I missed being on my bed a little longer. I missed listening to some country music to enjoy my weekend.

The following Sunday, I decided to try another church. I just left my hostel, and started moving to a God knows what direction. Luckily, I heard some folks singing religious songs, so I branched. I couldn’t even enjoy anything. These were extremely old folks. They seemed so happy with their session though. I left just in about 20 minutes, with my red covered old King James Version Bible that my Papa had passed on to me in 2005. I never read it really much.

During that week, I started passing through some fliers that different organizations had given us during freshman’s orientation. I found one talking about a fellowship that happens inside campus. I felt like giving to that as the last shot. In case I don’t find it enjoyable, I back out for good.

When Sunday came, I had to gather myself again, and went. I had to climb four levels high through the staircase to the main hall to see what these folks were doing. I was there, and for once, I finished an entire season of service. I refused to identify myself as a first-time person there, but some guys had to come wanting to say hi to me. These guys bothered me with a lot of questions, but to make it brief, they invited me for other programs, which I gave a shot to. This became my temporary worship center.

A few weeks after that, I decided to join the worship team. I enjoyed the singing, but honestly, I never felt any connection spiritually with God. I’m not sure those other guys were just enjoying the singing, or were really connected with God in spirit.

In 2012, the fun continued. I became a full time member of the worship, as well as the drama and dance teams. Life went on. I did whatever I could to make the church enjoyable. But I never felt any connection spiritually. No transformation was going on inside me. I joined many meetings to discuss the bible. I became highly eloquent in biblical discussions. I could cram verses every day. I became a genius in biblical scripture quotation, but I felt no connection. I attended every Monday and Thursday night prayer session. I could even lead in some sessions, but there was no spiritual connection.

In 2013, in one of the Saturday night fellowships, I was chosen to be a lead backup to one who had never led a worship session. Though my favorite sports team was playing on that day, somehow I missed it to be the lead vocal backup to this “shallow singer”. She sung the old “Because He lives.” Who on earth would want to sing an old school hymn in 2013? But I had no idea that the song from that vocalist would be a starting point for something good in my life.

When she took hold of the microphone, she was shaking like it was too cold. She could hardly say “Hallelujah”, or “Praise the Lord”, or anything that most worshipers say at the beginning of a worship session. She just started singing, “God sent His son…”, the atmosphere started changing. After reaching the chorus, half of the church couldn’t sing, they broke in prayers, others broke in tears. I’d never seen such in that fellowship. I cried. I saw both the rich and the poor United in one voice, saying “because He lives, I can face tomorrow”. The young lady couldn’t sing the second verse, she just kept repeating the chorus, and the congregation just kept pouring their hearts to God without anyone instructing them. Then I felt a connection spiritually.

Why would God choose such a person to show His power? Why would He do that on a Saturday evening when the congregation is few, and not on Sunday morning? Why would He wait for that long to make me finally realize that amazing moment? Why in that old song, are there not better contemporary songs that can impress God?

On this day, I realized the fact that God is truly able to raise stones to worship Him. I realised that true worship isn’t about where, or when, but much about who is worshipping. I can only imagine the unheard prayers that the young lady made to God in her shaking, in her informal introduction to worship, in her choice of the song, and in her utterances of each word in the symphony. In her inadequacy, God showed His powers, and the question is why?

In John 4, Jesus tells of the time which would come, when true worshipers would need truth, and spirit to worship God. He never spoke of busy people. He never spoke of eloquent people. He never even talked about creative people. But He talked of those who are ready to worship in truth, and in spirit.

My urge for service to God had overwhelmed my desire to live spiritually and in truth. I thought the more services I offered to God, the more spiritual I’d become, but no. I thought the more knowledgeable I become in the bible utterances, the more spiritual I’d be, but this just made me a clanging cymbal. Making loud noises, but without God in them. I even thought the more I prayed, the more connected to God I’d be, but this also was another vanity. All my imaginations couldn’t help me to find the ways of God.

On that Saturday evening, I didn’t need a preacher to tell me what to do. I didn’t need another bible verse. I didn’t need another prayer. I needed understanding. I needed to understand that worship, and true service is God’s initiative, accomplished by man, but perfected by God. I needed to know that all a man needs is to open his heart, and allow God’s spirit to flow, giving him the utterances, the energy, the truth, and all that he needs in him for worship. I needed to realize that God needs nothing from man, but man needs everything from God. I was never helping God, God always wanted to help me.

It saddens me though, that there are many who think like the way I thought. They give all their energy to what they think would earn them a connection spiritually. They dance with all the energy, sing with all the art, speak with all eloquence. But what’s the point of beauty without, and emptiness within? What’s the point in quoting all scriptures, but having no spirit? What’s the point in praying from time to time but never hearing God? Does He not open doors to those who knock, or reveal to those who seek or give to those who find? God forbid that He should lie. But if you know not how to pray, or how to read the bible, or how to worship, what makes you think any how will earn you a how? Think about it.

The wise man said:

“Guard your steps when you go to the house of God. To draw near to listen is better than to offer the sacrifice of fools, for they do not know that they are doing evil.”

Ecclesiastes 5:1

Unfortunately, many times, even the very reason to set our foot in the consecrated place itself is sacrifice. We think by sacrificing our time, our money, our work, and many others, we do good. We even speak to ourselves, or choose what we want to hear, and claim that God is saying that. We utter many things, and claim it to be a promise to ourselves, which most times really don’t come true. In the end, it is fulfilled that lack of knowledge makes the people of God to perish.

For once, if you’ve been struggling, and never found the way of spirituality, just open your heart, and let God speak. Get to understand Him for who He is. For once, don’t do anything that you think is right, rather in patience, wait to hear what’s truly right from God. For once, don’t petition Him to give you the zeal, and passion to serve Him, but rather, ask for His spirit to guide you. You’ve tried your ways, they didn’t work, why not try His way, not as you think, but as He truly is?

As it is said:

“The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.”

Proverbs 16:9

If a step is established, it yields. But any tree with a shallow root is always uprooted. Trust in God for the foundation of true worship in your life, and rest in Him, knowing He has the power to perfect it in you. Stop using other people, and competing with them to find your perfection, rather incline on God to ensure that you do your service rightly. Let not your heart be troubled, no one obeys God, and serves not in truth and spirit.

He leads from the front. He doesn’t lead from behind. You don’t pave your own way, He establishes it for you. Trust and obey.