Tears of a Father

Every day, something has to go wrong, doesn’t it? Or yeah, sometimes just. Sometimes things don’t go right. But the “sometimes” are more often to others than some people. While others experience drizzle, some experience rain, some people experience showers, and others, downpour. 

Growing up in a typical African culture, one thing that we were told is that, “it’s not masculine enough to cry”. A pure man was seen by his ability to not give into the weaknesses such as shading tears, running away from a fight, and sometimes choosing to say sorry. This left many men with the question of, “how can I hide my tears?”, or “where can I cry without being seen as a man who cries?”, but it was difficult sometimes to hide it, than to carry the burden of being told of how one loses masculinity. 

Down the country of Uganda lives a man who is over eighty years. He has found it difficult to see peace. He has passed through many life challenges that anyone would feel is too heavy. Growing up, he was unloved by most of his peers for the choices he made: He hated to lie, hated to do whatever the society doesn’t approve of, and mostly, hated to see someone suffer for no authentic reason. But in all these, he was never liked, making his childhood life challenging. He was often blamed for no good reasons, supposedly because He was him — a question of identity, something he couldn’t change.

Growing up, he married, but took about 3 years without seeing a child. He was mocked by his peers, scoffed at by his enemies, worst of all, lost favor from his parents. Some told him he was cursed because of his past choices. These too added onto the grieves he already had. “I prayed to God many times”, he testifies, “but for three years, the best I saw was my wife get miscarriages”. Well, at this point, he lost pleasure in the job he had, hated the life he had, and all things were meaningless to him. This ended in the fourth year of his marriage. Was it worth shading tears? Maybe not for all.

When he got the first child, which many people said wasn’t his biological, but were later proven wrong, he felt a relief. But his grieves were never just about to shy down on him. 

A few years later, he was meant to see a newer set of ordeals. He lost favor with some of his wicked workmates. They started plotting to eliminate him, not just from job, but from life. They had to hire a bunch of gunmen to finish this man, but someone had to tell him this plot, and was willing to offer him a defense team, fully armed. “I was almost tempted to accept the offer”, he said, “But I thought twice, and told my friend, ‘He who uses swords shall perish in swords, and he who uses guns shall perish in one’, and that was it, I refused his offer. He was greatly disappointed”.

On the night when his foes were meant to triumph over him, he sat in his living room, singing his own song with the lyrics below:

Lead me oh God in all I do

Show me how to do all at your will.

Open my eyes so that I see you,

And I follow only your way.

Open my heart and I receive you,

As my teacher, and my maker.

Open my ears and I’ll hear you

And abide by all, as you teach me

Let me have love, faith and hope

Let me defeat all my enemies.

This, he repeatedly sang till about 5am, and He went to sleep. By 9am, his friend came again with the news, telling him that the folks who were meant to kill him branched to rob some rich man, and none of them was spared to see the next day. “I praised God in my heart”, he testifies, “I never murdered them, but the guns they confided in finished them”.

This joy as well didn’t last forever. Soon, some children started passing to the next life. This was devastating to the big man. He always wished that the children would bury him, but nature didn’t allow that to happen. When the first two died, he wept, but when the third one passed on, he was no more able to hold it anymore. He bitterly cried, asking God why it should be thus, faithful, has he been, but torments and afflictions never left his side. 

After the third child passed on, he believed God had a reason to make him lose the children, but it was time to know why it was so. Bitterly, he cried. The big old man couldn’t take the pain anymore. Yes, he is a man. Infact, he is an old man. Actually, he is a father too. So, all these mixed up shows that he really was passing through an extremely rough time. For a man, a father, of over 8 decades to cry, it was really bitter.

At seeing this, I wondered if God sometimes could weep. Yes, He is a father, none can have enough understanding to calculate His age, yet He feels sad when a sinner dies in his sin. To what extent does the sadness go, none can tell. Could it be that He cries when a sinner fails to repent? Do you recall the moment Jesus was at the cross, taking the sins of the world upon himself, and the father couldn’t take the pain of seeing the scene, and He turned His eyes away?

Unfortunately, the place where the sinners should find their redemption has turned to be a place of condemnation. The people who should help the sinners see the light have instead made them run further away. The priests have become a snare to the sinners whom they should help see the light. Instead of priests telling people to stop being corrupt, they ask for bribe, making people who don’t have such as they need for bribe, to suffer corrupt deals.

If it hurts to see another man weep bitterly, it should hurt more to see God sad. If we should do something to make a man who feels bitter get better, we should do something to make God pleased. We should help one person become a saint. We don’t all need a pulpit in a temple, but we all need to realize that we already have a pulpit wherever God has appointed us priests. Whether in the military, or in the farm. Whether in the chambers, or in the office. Whether to one, or to many, He has assigned to us a pulpit, whom He has appointed us priests. 

It is easier to preach the gospel at all times if we have understood that gospels that bring salvation to a sinner don’t only come in words, but also in our manner of eating, smiles, dressing, relaxation, and everything else that makes our everyday life. Unfortunately, it is difficult to have consistency in our everyday life. But what if we choose to daily surrender ourselves to the will of God? What difference would it bring?

It’s good to read the religious books, to even master the verses such that one can Quote from genesis to revelation, it’s smart, isn’t it? But it’s one thing to hear, and another thing to do. Look at the story below.

Once lived a noble man in a country far away. His country was so wicked, but he was not. He took it upon himself to be exemplary to the community, both him and his household. This made him more noble.

His son, Olado was very stubborn, and often found himself up to mischief. Each time he did some bad stuff, he was punished. 

Olado thought to himself, and said, “I’ll ask my Dad to instruct me every morning on what to do for that day”. Olado did this. But he could start the day so well, and still could find himself messing up as time goes by. He thought he was so forgetful, so he took it upon himself to keep writing, and trying to memorize them. This too didn’t work. Olado was still finding himself into trouble. 

One day, Olado developed a great idea. He told all his friends to keep helping him not to fall into trouble. They did good at the start of the day, but failed to remember to help their friend as the day goes by. This too didn’t help.

Olado thought to himself, overwhelmed by the spanks, the scolds, and many other punishments, he asked his father, “dad”, he said, “what should I do to not be punished?” In response, the father said, “Do whatever I say. Don’t do anything I haven’t said.” At this, Olado thought to start going with the Dad everywhere, so that he can only keep asking what next to do. This worked.

Olado finally had found a way out. All what he did, including eating and drinking, he asked his father, and so he never fell into trouble ever after.

Many of us have asked God to teach us His ways. We have asked God to teach us His laws, and to instruct us. But in all these, we haven’t done our best to accomplish the task. Not many set resolutions at the beginning of the year to make disciples of any nation, yet so often they read, “go and make disciples of all nations…”. Some have gone an extra mile to seek help from accountability partners, but still things don’t seem to go right. The father still mourns for us. The son still feels the agony He felt on the cross whenever we fall.

If we can choose to live like the way Olado lived at last, our actions would swiftly point people out to God. We wouldn’t struggle to show others what being godly is like. We would make it admirable if we can use our tempers, our fears, our pride, our authority, our tongue, our influence, … exactly the way God wants us to use them. No wonder Jesus said ‘follow me’, not just ‘hear me’. He knew that by our own efforts, we can’t really do anything that can paint the smiles of the Father.

In conclusion, it’s our decision to follow God that will cause Him to smile, and our choice to do things our way will just sadden Him.

Further Reading: John 15:4-5