The Mystery of Life.

Birthdays are the one time in a year that most people anticipate and desire to see it come to pass. There is a nostalgia that comes with it and makes one very optimistic of what is to come. This reminds me of my campus life and its experiences. I was known as the queen master of birthday surprises. I would organize a surprise birthday for my friends without them getting even a slightest hint of what was coming ahead. My heart was always at peace when I expressed love to them in this small way. Campus birthdays are somehow a bit hard but very awesome. The satisfaction and joy that comes along with it when you know you have crazy friends who care. 

There were times when we were dead broke. In such moments we would order the small cupcakes (usually branded queen cakes). We would then get matchsticks and improvise them as cake candles. So hilarious! But we were living within our means, making merry even when times were hard. We would then light our improvised candles and wisely blow them out before it would stain our precious cake with its black charred remains. 

Many times one was showered with either dirty water, mud and if you were lucky maybe soda. This became a tradition in our campus, year in-year out. We even had a special intelligence crew who were informed and knew almost everyone’s birthday. They would always hunt you down by all means only to mercilessly pour water on you. Looking back, all these are treasured memories ones, that have painted the journeys we once trod on. 

I don’t recall being surprised ever since I set foot on campus. This was because I was born in the hardest month of the year, January, a month viewed as the unclimbable mountain. These are some of the things in life we can never change and just have to accept them as they are. Basically, I was always home and my good allies never got a chance of surprising me. As much as I felt somehow sad that I never got to experience it, I was always at peace to have my family around me on my birthdays.

Birthdays are meant to be enjoyed. They are one time in the year, when it’s truly one’s day. Has it ever occurred to you that not all birthdays end up being fulfilling as you hoped it would be? The sad reality stands that birthdays are never immune to disastrous events, and the bad experiences can be much worse when it happens on what you suppose to be your special day. This year was quite different for me. I did not even have the slightest minute to think of my birthday because that was the same day I was bidding my auntie goodbye forever. My auntie was precisely my mother since she was the one who raised me from childhood, and we shared a bond stronger than the covalent bonds we know.

I had planned my birthday and was really expectant that this was going to be mind blowing and epic for me, little did I know the future had something different for me. My auntie had been in the hospital on and off, but for the last month her health had quite improved and she had been discharged. The previous night, I had just spoken with her and she sounded fine and energetic. That morning I woke up all enthusiastic and ready to roll when I received a call that changed everything. The world just ceased to exist and I even refused to believe and process what I had just heard. The reality sinked in, and I realized she was never going to be visible again. So heartbreaking!

The pain was crippling and excruciating, one I could not measure nor comprehend. I had never lost someone so dear and so close, hence, I was shattered and everything was a blur. Numbness was the perfect word to describe me at that particular time. As if I had not taken enough of what I had, the burial was set to take place on my very birthday, but was there anything to celebrate?

 I hardly had any pulse left, I felt nothing and could not describe what I was feeling. I kept telling myself everything will be fine, and yet the situation just created more ambiguities. At one point I seemed to have it all together, yet the next minute I was utterly devastated. My mood always turned intransigent and I was boorish and yes, that is how I was handling grief because I did not know what to do or who to turn to. God was not a consideration at that point since I felt He was the main cause of all this. I felt He cared less because He never stopped to think of how we were going to feel after taking her from us.

We all deal with grief in different ways.I presume there is no systematic rhythm that should be followed since that would suggest a predictable tide, yet this is never the case. When grief hits, a cacophony of sadness penetrates and it has an engulfing embrace but never a sweet one. Sometimes it feels like being in the deepest ocean with a ship that has just lost its ballast and everyone is left at its mercy. I had two common scripts that always run through my head; “I wish I…”, and “At least I…”, but over time, I came to accept that some situations we have no control over them. I have had to come to the acceptance that it is okay not to be okay at all, because life is a journey that will always be full of ups and downs, pros and cons, and all we have to do is trust.

But shall we live as a people with no hope because we lost someone we treasured? Author William Saroyan issued a press statement in 1981 when he was at the verge of dying from cancer and he said, “Everybody has got to die, but I have always believed an exception would be made in my case. Now what?” Am quite sure that most of us if not all have the same mindset as William, and at most cases, we try not to contemplate about it and push it far away until it hits home and now not escapable. Come to think of it, we are always told a person is not ready to live unless he/she is ready to die. Or rather, a man who won’t die for something is not fit to live. Basically this is a call for us to live our lives as though it were our last.

 Life can be so ironical; on one end, someone is dying, while another is being born and others enjoying the plus one of their life. We all came from dust, and dust we shall return to, yet we never get experienced in this phenomena. Death is so rowdy and always sets in getting us unaware, and mostly, we all grow up knowing it is painful experience but no one ever explains why it is so? We live in a world where we all are pilgrims in a journey, and death was, and will always be an ultimatum truth that has to be accepted in one way or another. We are all performers on a worldly stage and hence we all have to give in our best and emerge victorious.  

Paul in the bible says it with confidence and boldness that he was going to choose Christ no matter what, even if it meant dying for Him. Paul was always filled with joy despite the sufferings he was going through. He even praised God with singing when he was in prison with Silas. Who does that? I mean, instead of focusing on the situation they were in, they chose to rather sing the whole night. I can only imagine what the other prisoners were thinking in their minds; probably they were wondering how foolish and unreasonable Paul and Silas were. Many times, when we are hit by calamities of life, maybe we are suffering from chronic and terminal illnesses such as cancer, we are always tempted to wish for death. But God always wants us to live life to its fullest, to be in His service joyfully as long as we have breath. Paul knew that if God were to call him that would just be fine because he knew he was going to be with his maker.

Death will still be our number one enemy that will rob us of our loved ones, yet this does not mean because we are Christians, we should not grieve, not at all. The scriptures even tell us to weep with those who weep but still it tells us (1stThesalonians 4:13) not to grieve as those who have no hope. Our core aim should be to exalt Christ, whether we live or die, just as Paul did. The fact that Christ triumphed over death should be a constant reminder that His victory will not be fully realized until He returns again to give us resurrection bodies like His own. Death will bring along emotional realities and loneliness and it is never going to be easy at all. God has promised to be our comforter even in such hard times, hence we ought to cling on to him through it all, though it might never be our option at such times.

Jesus conquered death and this points to the incredible hope we have in Christ. In other words eternity awaits all, though the destination may look vastly different. Even though we lose a loved one and it feels as a part of ourselves is taken away, the pain is real, and deep, but always remember that our sorrows is chained with the certainty that one day, we will see them again if they belonged to Jesus. We do not have the skill and wisdom to rule our lives and even the world we live in the way we want to. Our purpose remains to patiently and wholeheartedly submit to God’s sovereignty in uttermost surrender whether in seasons of joy or in grief, in birthdays or in death, in singing or in mourning.

The brevity of life on earth is a reality and a mystery that should constantly ring in our minds. Our lives are like mere vapor or mist that every passing day is a reminder that we are on a journey and soon we shall fade away. As we celebrate our birthdays and thank God of yet another year granted to us, this should be a day to reflect on the goodness of God and also acknowledge the privilege of being alive. 

What if you were told, “you only have twenty four hours to live what will you do?” Many of us I presume will think of spending time with those we love. Others would spend those last moments doing what they love to do. We should come to the full realisation that being alive takes the grace and hence, live our lives to the fullest as though it were our last. In Christ we have the freedom of having the abundance of life. We should never fear death but our main aim should be to live our lives maximumly in Christ. 

Spend time with friends, spare time and be with family, don’t hesitate to celebrate birthdays above all make the most of every single minute you got. Amidst trials of life, loosing the people we love being one of them, I encourage you to always remind your heart to beat again. David prayed in Psalms 90, asking God to teach him to number his days. This should also be our daily prayer as we sojourn on this journey because we never know what tomorrow holds. Our higher call stands that we ought to hear and obey God’s word daily as we maneuver through our daily life and I hope you will always yield to this higher call.